Andrà tutto da schifo

Avevamo bisogno di speranza


Ma sfortunatamente



Non c'è

Déjà vu

De repente era 2011
De repente éramos crianças
A complacência
A entrega
A amizade
A verdade
A mentira
A dor
O amor
Maõs e pés
O passado o presente e o futuro
Lágrimas e sorrisos
O grito e o silêncio
Eu nunca irei esquecer.

un giorno all'improvviso

a volte la verità fa male
ormai magari è troppo tardi
non lo so ancora
farmi vedere i fiori
ma sapete una cosa?

questo mondo insipido ha bisogno di più sale

Tentar entender essas emoções é mais difícil que física quântica

Um universo, dentro de tantos outros

Metade do tempo eu nem sei o que eu quero

Confunde, estressa

Descomplicando

Um dia e mais outro dia

Passa uma semana, um mês

Às vezes, assim chego a algum lugar

perda

eu me perdi

tu te perdeste

ele se perdeu

nós nos perdemos

vós vos perdestes

eles se perderam

queda livre

num espiral eu vejo o mundo como conheço desabar
as coisas caem e quebram
as coisas morrem e apodrecem
as coisas se desfazem e se terminam
num ato esplêndido de continuidade e fim
sim, essa é a dualidade fodida do viver
o começo e o fim são a mesma coisa
e eu sou só um pedacinho dessa bagunça

Coragem

Desistir...  como magoa esse verbo. Magoa pensar que acabou a luta, não há mais chance de vitória.

Mas eu quero ir além.

Eu não posso desistir.

Eu preciso enfrentar meus medos

Eu preciso fazer isso por mim mesma

Eu preciso pensar no meu propósito 

Eu preciso de coragem

tired

at some point you just get tired
you just let people think whatever they want
you just don't have the strength to explain yourself over and over again
ALL THE TIME
''sure''
''yes''
''ok''
''whatever''
a pretty restricted vocabulary for the exhausted ones
exhausted ones like myself
is there really no way for me to be understood?

empty room

its all gone
the furniture
the memories
the growth
the sense of fulfillment
all the plans
all the ideas
all possibilities
and the prospective future
people say ''that's life''
but honestly, is this really how it should be?

PACCO!

obrigada por alimentar minha vontade de persistir
obrigada por ter estado lá em cada momento
é impossível esquecer de tudo que você foi
seu adeus me marcou
obrigada
te amo

empty

Empty core
Nothing
Not one thing
Just plain
Hollow insides
Just like a circle

What a fun idea
To compare myself with a geometric form
Given that i hate math

im ok, thanks, u?

whenever you're going through utterly insane change,  there's a tendency that everything else will blow up in your face

what a marvelous thing, life indeed

i lost track of time
i mean, thats what happens when you get punched in the face so many freaking times
you get dizzy
you lose blood
you feel sore and diminished
it hurts your pride
it hurts your gut
it hurts your fucking face, man
smiling has become one of the most difficult chores for me
everyone else is just like a ghost floating by
people definitely dont know what to do with me
im a burden to them

''oh its the bipolar friend again, feeling shitty, hmm ok, mundane shit''
''hey luiza how are you, wanna hang?''  ''well, no thanks i dont feel good today.'' ''Nahhh ??? hmmm okaay (?) , well...... right, ok if you wanna talk let me know.{ i can sense their tone, i can read what they didnt write and i fucking know what they were thinking...... WTF DUDE WHAT DO I SAY TO THIS PERSON?} ''
and then, my friends.... i just talk. and they're like '' yeah uhh thats sounds so hard ikr well just try to breathe and relax right, its not the end of the world''

 OH REALLY YOU DUMB FUCK? I know. But its the end of my world. The end of literally everything I wanted and cared for and that makes me feel good about existing. Dealing with this hurts like a motherfucker. and life didnt come with no instructions, i ain't got any clues of what to do. Letting these emotions sink in... also hurtful. not knowing what your future is gonna be like... also hurtful. losing people you love, also hurtful....

days like this got me feeling as small as a mitochondrial ribosome.... you even know what that shit is? exactly. its like life screams at you how insignificant and useless you are.... and you got no choice other than believing it.
days like this got me forgetting how to be human.... and you're just there, waiting for someone to remind you of it.

loop

and here we go again
one more time
just like the last one
and the one before that
its always the same, in a different way
i feel so much that at some point i feel nothing
how come sometimes, things just disappear?
vanish into thin in air?
all I wanted
all I felt
all I pictured
its just gone
and here we are
doing all of this shit again
and again
till we die, ain't that right?
damn, it sure as hell gets exhausting as fuck.

am i stuck on replay or something?

real

I gotta be honest
I dont know what the fuck we are doing
I dont even get the why, anymore

Im tired of fighting against myself
Ill never win, sadly

I still dont understand why Im here

In the past Id say something clever
Id be hopeful

Thats not who I am, anymore.

In the void

When the night falls
And the sky darkens
I feel this wave of fearful pain
The future, uncertain and unclear,  awaits quietly in the shadows of tomorrow

In this maze

Theres no way out

I wonder if existing actually pays out
Many won't never dare to even think about this
But I aint got no other choice, do I?

I SCREAM

theres no one out there
Its up to me to get myself through the finishing lines of this thing
But why should I even want to?

I feel like life is like that movie everybody tells you its a classic and you should watch it just for the sake of it. Everybody knows it sucks yet no one is brave enough to say it out loud.

But it sucks.
And it'll continue to suck.
Till it doesnt anymore.

Heckler & Koch P7

I've been shot
Can't you see the blood pooling?
I feel life fading away slowly
No, when you're dying you don't see everything like a flash
You don't see what you love
You just see what you hated the most about your miserable time on Earth
It's God's way of telling you its all over now
And you're headed to a better place

things I promised myself I'd write down when I felt them

it takes over me

it starts with goosebumps, tingling my whole body

i lose focus

i can't breathe properly

then, rapidly it grows into a crippling wave of fear

my gut churns

it burns, but strangely, it also freezes me

i shiver

i'm 100% sure imma die right then

this feeling... i can't explain how, but...

it melts my thoughts like hot acid

they cannot be rearranged

they cannot be recycled

they cannot be reorganized

i feel like every single wire of logic in my brain simply gets detached

there's nothing holding my soul anymore

nothing makes sense anymore

life

death

past

or future

it's all a blur.

i feel like i have to cut my body open

to try and get rid of the hurricane inside of me

to see if I can diffuse the bomb

i usually can't

i scream

sometimes it ends there - some other times, it doesn't 

picasso

I gaze into the future and I see hope.
I know, pathetic, right?
''How can you detect any hint of optimism in this God-forsaken world? Are you nuts or what?'' - they may ask me.
But I do, I really do. Don't you?
I can still smell the flowers, I can still see the rainbows.
I can still hear the music and taste the coffee. Life's pretty good, ain't it?
We tend to see and feed on despair and chaos. Hell, I've been like that myself for years now.
But you know, I figured: ''I think I'll try to see the good despite the bad''.
It's been a couple of days. I feel a little less broken now.
''Ho paura un po' [...]. Ho lasciato pezzo di cuore tutte le parti.'' said the Italian poem.
I couldn't agree more. But I'm ready for more.
I can see it.

Vai

Vai, joga as cartas

Brinca com a sorte 

Que o jovem tem 

A vida é dura e bate forte

Mas a gente, teimoso, revida

E revida

E mais uma vez, revida de novo

E vai revidando

É uma guerra eterna

Às vezes você ganha a batalha

Às vezes, não

Azul

Mera observadora
Da rua
Dessa vida
Que se prova mais e mais
Não ser a minha
A pergunta queima de novo
E até doi
Onde é o meu lugar?
Pouco a pouco cai a ficha
Talvez o problema tenha sempre sido eu
Faz sentido
Sentada aqui
Tudo parece tão vazio
E tão cheio, ao mesmo tempo
É doce e amargo
É tudo que eu sempre quis e tudo que eu sempre temi
Entrelaçados num só sentimento
E agora, Luiza?
E agora?
E agora?